1. I'm not the most observant person [unless I take the time to analyze something]
(which leads to)
2. I don't connect the not so obvious dots....so please don't assume I do.
Ex: It's early in the morning and my phone rings with an unknown number. I picked up and it was my friend's mom looking for him. I explain that I don't know where he is. Minutes later friend calls yelling at me about talking to his mom. Finally, friend #2 tells me that friend #1 is mad at me because I talked to his mom when he's avoiding her and not talking to her...therefore I'm betraying him (or something).
-_____---. You expect to connect the dots...
So, please...COMMUNICATE what you're feeling and/or any necessary information. Don't blow up in my face and blame me.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Pepsi Has Great Customer Service!
Pepsi has great customer service. Seriously.
As you know, there are plenty of Pepsi vending machines all over the place, especially school campuses. Being extremely thirsty and craving a Sobe Life Water, I thought I'd get one. At the vending machine, after spending $1.50 for it, my drink got stuck between the glass and the machine...
So I called the Pepsi hotline. I got an automated message telling me to have my phone number on hand, which lasted at most a minute, and then viola!, someone answered the phone! I explained what happened and he was like "no problem, let me send you a free voucher redeemable at any local grocery store".
Now, that's good customer service. It was quick and easy. I didn't have to listen to an automated machine forever (like with Verizon) and the guy was friendly and available. I'm completely satisfied and no longer upset I'm not sitting here with my drink.
Now I only have one question, where are all the Pepsi commercials?
I remember watching those Britney Spears and other featured celebrities Pepsi commercials back in the day. Now, I rarely ever see any Pepsi commercials (although Coke and their polar bear is still out there).
I was watching this earlier and I definitely want a can of Pepsi. ::sigh:: I miss the old commercials.
I'm So Thirsty!
As you know, there are plenty of Pepsi vending machines all over the place, especially school campuses. Being extremely thirsty and craving a Sobe Life Water, I thought I'd get one. At the vending machine, after spending $1.50 for it, my drink got stuck between the glass and the machine...
So I called the Pepsi hotline. I got an automated message telling me to have my phone number on hand, which lasted at most a minute, and then viola!, someone answered the phone! I explained what happened and he was like "no problem, let me send you a free voucher redeemable at any local grocery store".
Now, that's good customer service. It was quick and easy. I didn't have to listen to an automated machine forever (like with Verizon) and the guy was friendly and available. I'm completely satisfied and no longer upset I'm not sitting here with my drink.
Now I only have one question, where are all the Pepsi commercials?
I remember watching those Britney Spears and other featured celebrities Pepsi commercials back in the day. Now, I rarely ever see any Pepsi commercials (although Coke and their polar bear is still out there).
I was watching this earlier and I definitely want a can of Pepsi. ::sigh:: I miss the old commercials.
I'm So Thirsty!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Dance off!
Anyone notice there's been a lot of music videos with elaborate dances out there lately? It started with Beyonce's Baby boy than a probably a Britney Spears (Somewhere in there), to Shakira (She Wolf) and Madonna (celebration), then back to Shakira (Did It Again/lo hecho esta hecho), and finally back to Beyonce (Beautiful Nightmare)
It's actually cool if you think about it. We're going back to a more expressive and artistic dance style.
It's actually cool if you think about it. We're going back to a more expressive and artistic dance style.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
tumblr +McDs coffee
I found an interesting new blog the other day. its called Tumblr . It's pretty cool and features: chats, pics, text, blog, video, etc. It's supposed to be a combination of everything we normally want to do but can't (on blog sites) I guess.
Anyways, on a different note, I tried McDonald's iced mocha for the first time! And I have to say... it tastes exactly how McDonald's smells. I was disappointed after hearing how good McDonald's coffee has been. And it really isn't all that cheaper than Starbucks (plus or minus a couple ounces). Sorry, I'm not interested in drinking what I smell at McDonalds.
Anyways, on a different note, I tried McDonald's iced mocha for the first time! And I have to say... it tastes exactly how McDonald's smells. I was disappointed after hearing how good McDonald's coffee has been. And it really isn't all that cheaper than Starbucks (plus or minus a couple ounces). Sorry, I'm not interested in drinking what I smell at McDonalds.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Question.
How do you deal with a teenage boy with obvious anger issues?
Is it just a phase?
Do you just accept everything and forget about it? (Confronting seems only to incite greater anger issues)
Does taking protein promote aggression?
Is it just a phase?
Do you just accept everything and forget about it? (Confronting seems only to incite greater anger issues)
Does taking protein promote aggression?
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Breast Beauty (Review of Jing Du Wei Wei)
Every woman wants to look younger and have an amazing body, and often many spend hours and hundreds of dollars pursuing this dream. Well, apparently, that really does apply to all parts of the body. I’m currently in Shanghai, and my step-mom recommended and swore by breast massages. Apparently with this process, which, depending on each woman’s breast, results can show after one treatment or it may take years.
So what exactly does breast massage do? Through a series of massages and treatment (non-surgical), you can enlarge or decrease the size of your breasts, and give your breasts a little lift.
After some persuasion by my step-mom, I decided to give it a try. Here’s how it went down:
I was first greeted by a couple of young, pretty women, who handed me slippers and led me to a room. I was asked to strip down to my panties and lie on the bed. We began with a back massage, where all movement was upwards and downwards, towards the breast area (along the sides pushing towards the front of the body).
After about 20 minutes or so, she had me turn around. Using circular motions, she massaged the front and continued to push and massage towards the breasts. After about another 20 minutes, the lady pulled out a machine. On the ends were suction cups. Pressure was applied and the breasts were “massaged” for about another 10 minutes. It felt like someone was squeezing your breasts plus some suction.
After the treatment, my breasts were tender, and I suppose they look bigger, but it could just be mental. I would definitely say though, that the experience was “different”. Ask me if I would do it again, and I’m not sure.
If you’re interested in the place I went to or interested in trying something new and more natural than plastic surgery, you can go to this place:
Jing Du Wei Wei
7th floor, Times Square (there’s a Starbucks on the bottom floor. Same building as the China Resources Center)
Dongchanglu Exit (from the MTR)
Shanghai, China
http://www.jdweiwei.net/ (Chinese only)
It’s quite annoying when you want to access sites and are unable to. Here’s a list of sites that I have encountered that are unavailable in China:
www.youtube.com
www.blogger.com (and any blogspots)
www.xanga.com
videos on websites of popular tv shows (CW)
So what exactly does breast massage do? Through a series of massages and treatment (non-surgical), you can enlarge or decrease the size of your breasts, and give your breasts a little lift.
After some persuasion by my step-mom, I decided to give it a try. Here’s how it went down:
I was first greeted by a couple of young, pretty women, who handed me slippers and led me to a room. I was asked to strip down to my panties and lie on the bed. We began with a back massage, where all movement was upwards and downwards, towards the breast area (along the sides pushing towards the front of the body).
After about 20 minutes or so, she had me turn around. Using circular motions, she massaged the front and continued to push and massage towards the breasts. After about another 20 minutes, the lady pulled out a machine. On the ends were suction cups. Pressure was applied and the breasts were “massaged” for about another 10 minutes. It felt like someone was squeezing your breasts plus some suction.
After the treatment, my breasts were tender, and I suppose they look bigger, but it could just be mental. I would definitely say though, that the experience was “different”. Ask me if I would do it again, and I’m not sure.
If you’re interested in the place I went to or interested in trying something new and more natural than plastic surgery, you can go to this place:
Jing Du Wei Wei
7th floor, Times Square (there’s a Starbucks on the bottom floor. Same building as the China Resources Center)
Dongchanglu Exit (from the MTR)
Shanghai, China
http://www.jdweiwei.net/ (Chinese only)
It’s quite annoying when you want to access sites and are unable to. Here’s a list of sites that I have encountered that are unavailable in China:
www.youtube.com
www.blogger.com (and any blogspots)
www.xanga.com
videos on websites of popular tv shows (CW)
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Trust
It's quite interesting. For all the stories I've heard and first hand experiences I've had about Chinese people trying to scam you or being rude or anything of the sort, I must say, Hong Kong people definitely don't seem to fit that crowd. They actually are really nice and trusting (except for being group members) it seems.
Today, I went out for dinner by myself (how lonely) and didn't realize the restaurant was cash only. I was out of cash (see previous post as that's where all my cash went) and only had my debit. After asking where the ATM was, they simply pointed down the mall and let me walk out. They didn't ask to hold anything or follow after me or even look to check that I went the right way. After finding the ATM, which was down the mall and definitely away from the view of the restaurant, I returned to pay. Regardless, it was interesting how trusting they were that I would come back to pay when I could have easily walked away with a free meal.
Also, at HKUST, everyone leaves their stuff lying around, especially in the library and the cafeterias. I've seen so many book bags, laptops, and purses just sitting around. And nothing ever seems to go missing. Cafeteria food also seems to never go missing either.
When it's busy in the cafeterias, and I mean PACKED, it's so easy to walk and just take something from any of the food displays, especially as no ones watching it and there are no workers remotely close. But nothing gets stolen and everyone always pays for everything. Definitely different than what happens at home.
Although I do have to admit, if there's one thing people here aren't reliable on, that's not stealing the food that's in the dorm floor fridges. Food items are usually labeled and stored in bags and pretty much everything except for cheese gets stolen from those fridges. One person even had their key stolen so someone could unlock their food and steal that. Ridiculous, how no one steals anywhere but the dorms.
Last semester, in the 6th floor common room, someone had put up a sign,
"Whoever it is that is stealing my food, if I catch you, I'm going to rape you so bad and stick it so far up your ass that you'll never walk straight again you f***ers."
and someone wrote back,
"I'd like to see you try."
Ridiculous.
Today, I went out for dinner by myself (how lonely) and didn't realize the restaurant was cash only. I was out of cash (see previous post as that's where all my cash went) and only had my debit. After asking where the ATM was, they simply pointed down the mall and let me walk out. They didn't ask to hold anything or follow after me or even look to check that I went the right way. After finding the ATM, which was down the mall and definitely away from the view of the restaurant, I returned to pay. Regardless, it was interesting how trusting they were that I would come back to pay when I could have easily walked away with a free meal.
Also, at HKUST, everyone leaves their stuff lying around, especially in the library and the cafeterias. I've seen so many book bags, laptops, and purses just sitting around. And nothing ever seems to go missing. Cafeteria food also seems to never go missing either.
When it's busy in the cafeterias, and I mean PACKED, it's so easy to walk and just take something from any of the food displays, especially as no ones watching it and there are no workers remotely close. But nothing gets stolen and everyone always pays for everything. Definitely different than what happens at home.
Although I do have to admit, if there's one thing people here aren't reliable on, that's not stealing the food that's in the dorm floor fridges. Food items are usually labeled and stored in bags and pretty much everything except for cheese gets stolen from those fridges. One person even had their key stolen so someone could unlock their food and steal that. Ridiculous, how no one steals anywhere but the dorms.
Last semester, in the 6th floor common room, someone had put up a sign,
and someone wrote back,
Ridiculous.
Language Barrier
As an athlete, pain is my companion; and will continue to be until I stop exercising. Today, pain caused me to seek a doctor after hours. Unfortunately, at 7 pm, normal doctors are off work; and even if I could find a doctor, all they could prescribe me are pain killers and a referral for a physical therapist. So since I'm in Hong Kong, I went in search for a traditional Chinese doctor. I eventually managed to find one.
The clinic itself was stocked to the brim with interesting Chinese medicinal ingredients from caterpillars to snakeskin to sea horse, etc. and every person sitting in the shop had needles sticking out of their bodies left and right (hands, head, scalp, nose, etc.). The doctor was a pretty old man. And although I think I'm decent at conversational Chinese, we definitely had difficulties communicating.
It's interesting how language evolves over time; and one of the easiest ways to see this is through talking to the older generation. Many of the words he used were quite obscure and I'm pretty sure many of them had been replaced by other words. His writing was also not only very traditional but also very messy and written in seemingly no sense. He wrote left to right, right to left, and above and below. Then he laughed at my fear of needles and gave me a light session of cupping, taped some black balls behind my ears and told to rub them until it hurts, and gave me ingredients that I had to boil for an hour and then drink. All for the price of $346 HKD.
Although I feel slightly better, I can't help but feel that with the language barrier, lack of receipt, and bag of random ingredients, I'm missing something vital and maybe I've been fooled somewhere. But I've done Chinese medicine before...and its always worked in the past, so maybe it's just my mind playing tricks on me.
The clinic itself was stocked to the brim with interesting Chinese medicinal ingredients from caterpillars to snakeskin to sea horse, etc. and every person sitting in the shop had needles sticking out of their bodies left and right (hands, head, scalp, nose, etc.). The doctor was a pretty old man. And although I think I'm decent at conversational Chinese, we definitely had difficulties communicating.
It's interesting how language evolves over time; and one of the easiest ways to see this is through talking to the older generation. Many of the words he used were quite obscure and I'm pretty sure many of them had been replaced by other words. His writing was also not only very traditional but also very messy and written in seemingly no sense. He wrote left to right, right to left, and above and below. Then he laughed at my fear of needles and gave me a light session of cupping, taped some black balls behind my ears and told to rub them until it hurts, and gave me ingredients that I had to boil for an hour and then drink. All for the price of $346 HKD.
Although I feel slightly better, I can't help but feel that with the language barrier, lack of receipt, and bag of random ingredients, I'm missing something vital and maybe I've been fooled somewhere. But I've done Chinese medicine before...and its always worked in the past, so maybe it's just my mind playing tricks on me.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
my eap comments.
It's funny. You know employers are looking for team players and the schools teach about them. But coming to HKUST was the first time I really had to use any of these team skills. We had a project and presentation in almost every class.
You meet so many wonderfully talented people. Many of them have accomplished so much and make you look at yourself and say, "what have I been doing all this time?". But then, realizing how much you are capable of and being given the opportunity, it motivates you to get out there and become just as accomplished. The people I've met, the activities I've participated in, have changed me in so many ways, and all for the better. I'm really glad I came to Hong Kong.
You meet so many wonderfully talented people. Many of them have accomplished so much and make you look at yourself and say, "what have I been doing all this time?". But then, realizing how much you are capable of and being given the opportunity, it motivates you to get out there and become just as accomplished. The people I've met, the activities I've participated in, have changed me in so many ways, and all for the better. I'm really glad I came to Hong Kong.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
China unveiled!
I spent the last two weeks in China, more specifically Shanghai and Beijing. I must say, Shanghai food is amazing! But the opportunity to walk those 10km on the unrestored section of the Great Wall from Jinshanling to Sumaya was something that will stay with me for the rest of my life (just like Machu Pichu, Peru). And it was just in time too.
As I was walking the wall with one of the local ladies, she told me that the government was planning to build a cable car route to the point halfway between Jinshanling and Sumaya (which is 3 hours from Beijing by private bus), and in doing so, likely restore that part of the wall. She told me of how she provided for her family by walking two hours to the wall and selling souvenirs to tourists, and how although they normally grow rice and barley in the hills, there has been no rain to grow anything the last couple months. Oh, and she told me that they have no income in the winter when there are no tourists.
Such a difficult life, but she was so happy and seemed not at all intimidated by the gigantic hurdles in her life. It's quite inspiring. It's so amazing to think how much can change in such a small time and how much one can accomplish, especially something that has been around for the longest time. China is changing quickly, just compare Beijing before and after the Olympics. I definitely recommend you visit China soon, and then maybe again when it has finished modernizing itself.
I took quite a number of photos (4xx something or so). Enjoy!
As I was walking the wall with one of the local ladies, she told me that the government was planning to build a cable car route to the point halfway between Jinshanling and Sumaya (which is 3 hours from Beijing by private bus), and in doing so, likely restore that part of the wall. She told me of how she provided for her family by walking two hours to the wall and selling souvenirs to tourists, and how although they normally grow rice and barley in the hills, there has been no rain to grow anything the last couple months. Oh, and she told me that they have no income in the winter when there are no tourists.
Such a difficult life, but she was so happy and seemed not at all intimidated by the gigantic hurdles in her life. It's quite inspiring. It's so amazing to think how much can change in such a small time and how much one can accomplish, especially something that has been around for the longest time. China is changing quickly, just compare Beijing before and after the Olympics. I definitely recommend you visit China soon, and then maybe again when it has finished modernizing itself.
I took quite a number of photos (4xx something or so). Enjoy!
 |
| beijing/shanghai 09 |
A Relaxing Refresher.
I admit, over the last month of so, I've gotten rather attached to Starbuck's Iced Mocha. The two shots of espresso with chocolate, milk and ice are a delicacy of flavors enrapturing my taste buds.
In the last two weeks, I've had Iced Mocha from Starbucks in Shanghai, Beijing, and Shenzhen. And hands down, the HKUST iced mocha is by far the best. It's consistent, strong, and absolutely wonderful.
Lady...who works at HKUST's bakery/coffee, thank you for making me such wonderful coffee!
In the last two weeks, I've had Iced Mocha from Starbucks in Shanghai, Beijing, and Shenzhen. And hands down, the HKUST iced mocha is by far the best. It's consistent, strong, and absolutely wonderful.
Lady...who works at HKUST's bakery/coffee, thank you for making me such wonderful coffee!
One Day Without Shoes! THANKS!
Thank you to everyone who has helped me with this. I appreciate all the help! I hope you the fruit of our efforts.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
One Day Without Shoes
Hey you guys!
April 16th is "One Day Without Shoes," a day for raising awareness for those in the world without shoes! Please help the effort by giving your feet a breathing day! x)
------------------I'm trying to create an album of pictures of barefoot people for this event! PLEASE help me out by taking a picture of yourself and your friends barefoot (and if you're feeling generous, you can include a ___(Your place) brings Awareness for One Day Without Shoes!) and send it to me! Thank you so much!-------------------------
When you buy a pair of Toms shoes, you're also giving a pair of Toms to a child without shoes somewhere in the world! It's a great cause, and the shoes are super comfortable! And water friendly!
- I took my Toms with me to Cambodia, China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, etc.!
I also made it to the second round for the Toms internship! Exciting! Please help me out by checking out this link and Toms shoes! Toms shoes! Help Tiff!
http://www.tomsshoes.com/?aid=1837&LinkID=1837
Love you guys lots! I'll be organizing an event! Let's do this together!
-Tiff
April 16th is "One Day Without Shoes," a day for raising awareness for those in the world without shoes! Please help the effort by giving your feet a breathing day! x)
------------------I'm trying to create an album of pictures of barefoot people for this event! PLEASE help me out by taking a picture of yourself and your friends barefoot (and if you're feeling generous, you can include a ___(Your place) brings Awareness for One Day Without Shoes!) and send it to me! Thank you so much!-------------------------
When you buy a pair of Toms shoes, you're also giving a pair of Toms to a child without shoes somewhere in the world! It's a great cause, and the shoes are super comfortable! And water friendly!
- I took my Toms with me to Cambodia, China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, etc.!
I also made it to the second round for the Toms internship! Exciting! Please help me out by checking out this link and Toms shoes! Toms shoes! Help Tiff!
http://www.tomsshoes.com/?aid=1837&LinkID=1837
Love you guys lots! I'll be organizing an event! Let's do this together!
-Tiff
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
How To Eat Hot Pot? (here by request)
So what is involved in hot pot and how do we eat it?
Hot Pot is a communal style of eating. Numerous people may share one "pot". The pot is basically (and usually) a large pot or bowl which contains soup of some sort. The pot is placed over some type of cooking device. The food is served raw and usually is a mix of seafood, meat, and vegetables. The food is cooked in the pot with each person contributing what they want to eat. Sometimes there are sauces for you to dip your food into. Upon finishing or at any time during the meal, people may serve themselves soup from the pot.
Because hot pot is communal, there are some rules that need to be observed.
1. Because it is soup based, be careful! The soup is hot. If there are sauces, be careful too! You might make your meal mates angry if you stain their clothes.
2. If possible, use a spoon or some other utensil to help you scoop food up that you have difficulty picking up with chopsticks. It's quicker, you look less silly, and it prevents splashing and food waste.
3. If you add meat in, WAIT until the soup boils before eating anything in the pot. You want to make sure that your food is fully cooked and that any possibilities of bacteria from raw food is gone.
4. Don't try to grab all the food. It's communal for a reason.
5. If your utensils touch raw meat, you should hold them in the pot and give them a little cook. Safety first!
*Sometimes, under more formal situations, you may want to have a common pair of chopsticks or utensils for everyone to share. It's more sanitary and polite. But that's up to your group's discretion.
Here are some tips for having a good meal:
1. Make share everyone has an opportunity to try what's being served.
2. People should come away from a meal happy and satisfied, so do your best to either help make that happen or don't do anything that can prevent that from happening.
3. Watch what other people do and imitate when you're not sure.
4. If people are explaining the workings of the style of dining, Pay Attention.
5. and of course, ask questions when you're not sure.
Tips on food:
1. dumplings, meat/fish balls, and some mushrooms may take longer to cook. Take that into consideration. Once you pull it out of the pot and bite into it, you can't put it back.
2. Cut the noodles if you have them. Longer noodles are harder to pull out and can be quite messy.
3. Beef cooks relatively fast and tastes best when not over cooked. It also tastes best hot. Cook one or two pieces at a time for yourself or your friends.
4. Vegetables (the leafy and root ones) get softer the longer their boiled. If you prefer them hard, eat the at the beginning of their cook time.
5. Try the soup from time to time. The flavor changes after you add each new ingredient. All the wonderful and savory goodness.
6. USE a bowl to catch your food. It's cleaner and you'll likely to be able to eat more.
Enjoy!
Note: You can also enjoy DIY Hot Pot at home!
Hot Pot is a communal style of eating. Numerous people may share one "pot". The pot is basically (and usually) a large pot or bowl which contains soup of some sort. The pot is placed over some type of cooking device. The food is served raw and usually is a mix of seafood, meat, and vegetables. The food is cooked in the pot with each person contributing what they want to eat. Sometimes there are sauces for you to dip your food into. Upon finishing or at any time during the meal, people may serve themselves soup from the pot.
Because hot pot is communal, there are some rules that need to be observed.
1. Because it is soup based, be careful! The soup is hot. If there are sauces, be careful too! You might make your meal mates angry if you stain their clothes.
2. If possible, use a spoon or some other utensil to help you scoop food up that you have difficulty picking up with chopsticks. It's quicker, you look less silly, and it prevents splashing and food waste.
3. If you add meat in, WAIT until the soup boils before eating anything in the pot. You want to make sure that your food is fully cooked and that any possibilities of bacteria from raw food is gone.
4. Don't try to grab all the food. It's communal for a reason.
5. If your utensils touch raw meat, you should hold them in the pot and give them a little cook. Safety first!
*Sometimes, under more formal situations, you may want to have a common pair of chopsticks or utensils for everyone to share. It's more sanitary and polite. But that's up to your group's discretion.
Here are some tips for having a good meal:
1. Make share everyone has an opportunity to try what's being served.
2. People should come away from a meal happy and satisfied, so do your best to either help make that happen or don't do anything that can prevent that from happening.
3. Watch what other people do and imitate when you're not sure.
4. If people are explaining the workings of the style of dining, Pay Attention.
5. and of course, ask questions when you're not sure.
Tips on food:
1. dumplings, meat/fish balls, and some mushrooms may take longer to cook. Take that into consideration. Once you pull it out of the pot and bite into it, you can't put it back.
2. Cut the noodles if you have them. Longer noodles are harder to pull out and can be quite messy.
3. Beef cooks relatively fast and tastes best when not over cooked. It also tastes best hot. Cook one or two pieces at a time for yourself or your friends.
4. Vegetables (the leafy and root ones) get softer the longer their boiled. If you prefer them hard, eat the at the beginning of their cook time.
5. Try the soup from time to time. The flavor changes after you add each new ingredient. All the wonderful and savory goodness.
6. USE a bowl to catch your food. It's cleaner and you'll likely to be able to eat more.
Enjoy!
Note: You can also enjoy DIY Hot Pot at home!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
CollegExperience.net
Today I became a blogger for CollegExperience.net.
It's "College Experience is a college advice blog that offers an inside look at real college life. Unlike your typical book or website, we tell you straight forward how it is and we keep it real. Who better to receive advice from, than from actual college students? We offer our own college experience in all aspects of college life, from classes and grades, to parties and drugs. So go check out what we have posted and educate yo’ self!"
Anyways, due to legalities, the stuff posted there won't be posted anywhere else...and here's the link to my first post! For those of you that are interested of course.
How to go about Studying Abroad.
It's "College Experience is a college advice blog that offers an inside look at real college life. Unlike your typical book or website, we tell you straight forward how it is and we keep it real. Who better to receive advice from, than from actual college students? We offer our own college experience in all aspects of college life, from classes and grades, to parties and drugs. So go check out what we have posted and educate yo’ self!"
Anyways, due to legalities, the stuff posted there won't be posted anywhere else...and here's the link to my first post! For those of you that are interested of course.
Just for Harley.
Rules of thumb:
Relationships are a two way street. Period.
Relationships are built on trust and communication.
Proximity helps.
Good relationships have many components, we all know that. But the two that I think are the most important are trust and communication. Without trust, there's doubt, which can lead to insecurity, paranoia, and trouble, etc. Trust is the "firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something". In this case the someone being your significant other and the something, the relationship you're sharing and or developing. It's probably a mix of factual and instinctual. Regardless, if you have doubts in the other, I think there's a great possibility that the relationship won't work. Trust also plays in communication.
Part of making a relationship work is the ability for each partner to express their concerns, insecurities, and needs to the other. By doing so, the two can work out the kinks and reaffirm their bond. As a male, you might think it's tedious, but face it...men and women are just that different. Men respond to physical touch, they show their feelings, whereas women tell their feelings; they need to literally hear it from the male. Signs get mixed all the time, it's important that your intent is clear.
When there is doubt or mistrust, communication declines. It may start as lack of interest in talking to the other, to reluctance to tell them what's been happening (important or not), to not talking at all. But the less you talk, the more distance there is between the two partners there is. It makes it easier for the other to wonder, what else is out there? It makes it easier for them to drift and focus solely on their own lives, instead of being part of yours. And this is one possible explanation for why so many long distance relationships fail.
When you're abroad, there can be more than just physical distance. There can be time differences and of course life style differences.
For example, I'm in Hong Kong and Jon's in California. Not only is there thousands of miles between us, but the time difference as well. It's 9 pm here and 6 am over there...yesterday. Lifestyle differences include Hong Kong being a city of the night, whereas everything closes earlier in California.
But all of these things play an impact on any relationship. Being apart from each other, it's hard to be part of someone else's life. They have no idea where places are, who people are, or in general what's happening. Everything has to be imagined. It's hard to be excited or interested in something you have no knowledge of. Common topics can become few and far in between and conversation can become monotonous. Hearing "how's your day? what time is it? what have you been up to?" every time you converse with someone is boring and gets old quick. So what does that leave you with to talk about? In a way, it allows you to explore deeper facets of the personality, but at the same time, it's difficult to get that far when most people are out for instant gratification, something easy, or short term.
When you lose interest in conversing because there's nothing to talk about, you lose interest in talking to the person. This creates a tangible distance between the two. From there, it's easy to start looking, which according to Henning, is when you know that it's over or that the end is coming (I disagree with that, I think it's possible to look and appreciate without straying). So without one partner being there to physically ground your interest, and failing communication, your attention turns to only your life. You focus on what has been happening to you and around you. You begin to see others who you may not have noticed before. And of course, that's trouble.
But before all that happens, let's look at the beginning. How do you meet? Of course on any level, attractiveness plays a part. But it doesn't matter how attractive a person is, when you first enter a room, what do you notice; the attractive person standing next to the wall or the one laughing, smiling, and having a good time? Most people will notice the latter. When a person's confident (but not overly so) in themselves, it shows, and it's sexy. Besides, if you survey a group, most people when asked what they want out from 1 to 10 scale, they don't need a ten and realistically won't say 10 (people do avoid extremes).
So first impressions do matter. But of course, do everything in moderation. You want to catch good attention not be seen as an attention getter. You want to talk enough but not known as the one who won't shut up. Being able to listen and reading in between the lines is more important than talking. Everyone likes to talk about themselves, but everyone likes better the one who can listen to them.
You asked, "how do I get her to notice me?" and while there's no sure answer, I do have this advise for you:
Make her laugh, maker her smile, but most importantly, make her feel good about herself.
People ask me, why do you like Jon, and I always reply, "because he makes me feel good about myself. He makes me feel beautiful inside and out. He doesn't care about my flaws, my imperfections. To him, I'm beautiful and perfect. He gives me confidence and empowers me as I do him." Notice that my answer has nothing to do with how attractive he is or how much money he has, or how skilled he is, but rather, how he makes me more confident and feel like a better person. And that is your goal.
Also note that if there is constant fighting or lots of crying from either partner, something's wrong with your relationship... it's not healthy to be constantly fighting nor constantly upset or crying. Being in a relationship isn't supposed to be a hardship.
Now how do we do that? That's for another time and place. For now, let's look at the impressions. You need to remind her you're a guy and you are available and desirable (not necessarily in the lust filled sense). You need to make her see you in a light of a potential boyfriend rather than just another nice guy. As much as we fight for female independence and rights and what not, we do like it when you buy us dinner, when you open the door, etc. A lot of the times, attraction is in the little things. Remember my example?
When we're walking on the street and he tells me, "walk on the inside, it's safer". It's not that he's saying that I'm weak that he's domineering or whatever you called it, but it's that even though he knows I'm capable of protecting myself, he's caring about my well being. Yes, he's doing the male thing of (providing and ) protecting, but it's sweet.
Earlier, you had also mentioned two things: 1. you wanted to build some muscles and 2. competitiveness is attractive.
1. Muscles are not everything. You see plenty of attractive people with not so attractive people. Muscles are a plus, yes, but personality is more important. For girls, personality can make a guy go from okay, to super damn hot. But it also goes both ways, it can make you really unattractive as well.
I could care less how muscular Jon is, but I find him attractive when he's doing tasks he considers menial such as shoveling snow, or protecting our food from bears when we're camping. He's also adorable when he's slouched on the couch watching TV after a long day. And that definitely does not show off his muscles, and really, I could care less. When I look at him, I see his warm and caring persona, etc.
Although I will admit, girls like a guy who's aggressive to a degree. It's nice to be in charge, but at the same time it gets tiring. It sucks to always have to decide, to motivate, to initiate something. So sometimes, what you call the asshole, the one who just orders his girl to do something, we like it. It takes responsibility from us. It can be thrilling at times, to just go along for the ride, not knowing what's going to come next.
2. Competitiveness is attractive...but it depends on the type of competitiveness. The competitiveness playing sports and the competitiveness in winning arguments is different. Competitiveness in the field shows confidence in skill, aggressiveness, and ambition to succeed, to win. Competitiveness in always winning the argument, per say, is definitely not cool. It's annoying and can be frustrating at times. Don't you just hate the person who always has to be right, who always has to have the last say? In the end, you'd rather not talk to them at all knowing that if you did, you had to deal with that personality, that trait. Besides, you know that saying, "just say yes, the girl's right". Sometimes you just have to do that. Just shut up, even when you know you're right.
You appease the girl. Keep her happy, and she'll keep you happy.
If she's annoyed or angry with you, you can guarantee that your life will probably be frustrating or difficult for as long as she's unhappy with you.
Now here's something I mentioned to you. I have generally observed that the chiller (laid back, easy going, etc.) you are, the more of a high-maintenance girl/guy you can date or end up dating (High-maintenance refers to either time consuming, emotionally consuming, or materialistically consuming). Now why do I say this?
I don't if you've noticed, but high-maintenance people usually end up clashing. Their personalities are so big, drama ensues. Both want to the center of attention, so who's going to step back? Both want to lead, to motivate (initiate). On the other hand, two really chill people, don't get anything done, neither really takes charge. Of course, there are always exceptions to this. So like I said, if you've noticed, the chiller the person is, the more high-maintenance you can handle. The chiller one is happy to listen and follow (provided that they get their opinion in and their share in the relationship) the more opinionated significant other, who is happy to be the center of attention, to lead, to talk, etc. Although, I have noticed also that two similar people can work out too (ex: Sarah and her boyfriend).
So anyways, all of this is just my opinion and not anyone else's. Take it for what it is, an opinion, and make your own decisions.
Relationships are a two way street. Period.
Relationships are built on trust and communication.
Proximity helps.
Good relationships have many components, we all know that. But the two that I think are the most important are trust and communication. Without trust, there's doubt, which can lead to insecurity, paranoia, and trouble, etc. Trust is the "firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something". In this case the someone being your significant other and the something, the relationship you're sharing and or developing. It's probably a mix of factual and instinctual. Regardless, if you have doubts in the other, I think there's a great possibility that the relationship won't work. Trust also plays in communication.
Part of making a relationship work is the ability for each partner to express their concerns, insecurities, and needs to the other. By doing so, the two can work out the kinks and reaffirm their bond. As a male, you might think it's tedious, but face it...men and women are just that different. Men respond to physical touch, they show their feelings, whereas women tell their feelings; they need to literally hear it from the male. Signs get mixed all the time, it's important that your intent is clear.
When there is doubt or mistrust, communication declines. It may start as lack of interest in talking to the other, to reluctance to tell them what's been happening (important or not), to not talking at all. But the less you talk, the more distance there is between the two partners there is. It makes it easier for the other to wonder, what else is out there? It makes it easier for them to drift and focus solely on their own lives, instead of being part of yours. And this is one possible explanation for why so many long distance relationships fail.
When you're abroad, there can be more than just physical distance. There can be time differences and of course life style differences.
But all of these things play an impact on any relationship. Being apart from each other, it's hard to be part of someone else's life. They have no idea where places are, who people are, or in general what's happening. Everything has to be imagined. It's hard to be excited or interested in something you have no knowledge of. Common topics can become few and far in between and conversation can become monotonous. Hearing "how's your day? what time is it? what have you been up to?" every time you converse with someone is boring and gets old quick. So what does that leave you with to talk about? In a way, it allows you to explore deeper facets of the personality, but at the same time, it's difficult to get that far when most people are out for instant gratification, something easy, or short term.
When you lose interest in conversing because there's nothing to talk about, you lose interest in talking to the person. This creates a tangible distance between the two. From there, it's easy to start looking, which according to Henning, is when you know that it's over or that the end is coming (I disagree with that, I think it's possible to look and appreciate without straying). So without one partner being there to physically ground your interest, and failing communication, your attention turns to only your life. You focus on what has been happening to you and around you. You begin to see others who you may not have noticed before. And of course, that's trouble.
But before all that happens, let's look at the beginning. How do you meet? Of course on any level, attractiveness plays a part. But it doesn't matter how attractive a person is, when you first enter a room, what do you notice; the attractive person standing next to the wall or the one laughing, smiling, and having a good time? Most people will notice the latter. When a person's confident (but not overly so) in themselves, it shows, and it's sexy. Besides, if you survey a group, most people when asked what they want out from 1 to 10 scale, they don't need a ten and realistically won't say 10 (people do avoid extremes).
So first impressions do matter. But of course, do everything in moderation. You want to catch good attention not be seen as an attention getter. You want to talk enough but not known as the one who won't shut up. Being able to listen and reading in between the lines is more important than talking. Everyone likes to talk about themselves, but everyone likes better the one who can listen to them.
You asked, "how do I get her to notice me?" and while there's no sure answer, I do have this advise for you:
People ask me, why do you like Jon, and I always reply, "because he makes me feel good about myself. He makes me feel beautiful inside and out. He doesn't care about my flaws, my imperfections. To him, I'm beautiful and perfect. He gives me confidence and empowers me as I do him." Notice that my answer has nothing to do with how attractive he is or how much money he has, or how skilled he is, but rather, how he makes me more confident and feel like a better person. And that is your goal.
Also note that if there is constant fighting or lots of crying from either partner, something's wrong with your relationship... it's not healthy to be constantly fighting nor constantly upset or crying. Being in a relationship isn't supposed to be a hardship.
Now how do we do that? That's for another time and place. For now, let's look at the impressions. You need to remind her you're a guy and you are available and desirable (not necessarily in the lust filled sense). You need to make her see you in a light of a potential boyfriend rather than just another nice guy. As much as we fight for female independence and rights and what not, we do like it when you buy us dinner, when you open the door, etc. A lot of the times, attraction is in the little things. Remember my example?
Earlier, you had also mentioned two things: 1. you wanted to build some muscles and 2. competitiveness is attractive.
1. Muscles are not everything. You see plenty of attractive people with not so attractive people. Muscles are a plus, yes, but personality is more important. For girls, personality can make a guy go from okay, to super damn hot. But it also goes both ways, it can make you really unattractive as well.
I could care less how muscular Jon is, but I find him attractive when he's doing tasks he considers menial such as shoveling snow, or protecting our food from bears when we're camping. He's also adorable when he's slouched on the couch watching TV after a long day. And that definitely does not show off his muscles, and really, I could care less. When I look at him, I see his warm and caring persona, etc.
Although I will admit, girls like a guy who's aggressive to a degree. It's nice to be in charge, but at the same time it gets tiring. It sucks to always have to decide, to motivate, to initiate something. So sometimes, what you call the asshole, the one who just orders his girl to do something, we like it. It takes responsibility from us. It can be thrilling at times, to just go along for the ride, not knowing what's going to come next.
2. Competitiveness is attractive...but it depends on the type of competitiveness. The competitiveness playing sports and the competitiveness in winning arguments is different. Competitiveness in the field shows confidence in skill, aggressiveness, and ambition to succeed, to win. Competitiveness in always winning the argument, per say, is definitely not cool. It's annoying and can be frustrating at times. Don't you just hate the person who always has to be right, who always has to have the last say? In the end, you'd rather not talk to them at all knowing that if you did, you had to deal with that personality, that trait. Besides, you know that saying, "just say yes, the girl's right". Sometimes you just have to do that. Just shut up, even when you know you're right.
If she's annoyed or angry with you, you can guarantee that your life will probably be frustrating or difficult for as long as she's unhappy with you.
Now here's something I mentioned to you. I have generally observed that the chiller (laid back, easy going, etc.) you are, the more of a high-maintenance girl/guy you can date or end up dating (High-maintenance refers to either time consuming, emotionally consuming, or materialistically consuming). Now why do I say this?
I don't if you've noticed, but high-maintenance people usually end up clashing. Their personalities are so big, drama ensues. Both want to the center of attention, so who's going to step back? Both want to lead, to motivate (initiate). On the other hand, two really chill people, don't get anything done, neither really takes charge. Of course, there are always exceptions to this. So like I said, if you've noticed, the chiller the person is, the more high-maintenance you can handle. The chiller one is happy to listen and follow (provided that they get their opinion in and their share in the relationship) the more opinionated significant other, who is happy to be the center of attention, to lead, to talk, etc. Although, I have noticed also that two similar people can work out too (ex: Sarah and her boyfriend).
So anyways, all of this is just my opinion and not anyone else's. Take it for what it is, an opinion, and make your own decisions.
Food for thought.
This has been quite an interesting week. I've learned quite a number of new things, some of which I will share, others unfortunately for you, will have to stay a mystery.
Among my new knowledge is a set of English slang vocabulary words (thank Ali and Jesal):
1. Rough-ugly (I suppose its not hiding the beauty within according to them)
2. Fit- hot (although I'm pretty sure if you look up fit in the dictionary or ask anyone else, it has a different meaning)
3. Sleezy- flirting by means to get into her (or his) pants. (almost slutty)
4. Maccys (Mac-ies)- McDonald's.
-----
From an anonymous source:
American's are abrasive. Speech wise. Apparently, we make quite a number of people cringe, inwardly thinking "please, just shut up".
We are too in your face, too excited to the point of being excessively loud when the person we're speaking to is right in front of you.
Quite interesting food for thought, no?
-----
From Nemani and Kareen I learned:
McDonald's = Happiness. Although they differ on the taste of the food (one says it's delicious and other that it tastes horrible), both agree that 1. it's bad for you and 2. McDonald's makes them happy.
I thought about what they were saying and I realized, there must be a lot of people out there who think the same. McDonald's makes them happy. Can you imagine what kind of effort and how much money it must of cost McDonald's to create this type of image in everyone's head. In Hong Kong, I've seen plastic toy versions of McDonald's food. What kind of parent would buy that for their kids? But apparently they do.
Everyone knows McDonald's is bad for you, especially after Super Size Me came out, but everyone still eats it. Tonight alone, Ali, Haakon, Luong, and Jesal had it for dinner, and I'm pretty sure Nemani had some too. I'm not sure how McDonald's did it, but I'm pretty damn sure I think that companies out there should study the McDonald's history in advertisement and the company's past and present method for creating such a perception.
Among my new knowledge is a set of English slang vocabulary words (thank Ali and Jesal):
1. Rough-ugly (I suppose its not hiding the beauty within according to them)
2. Fit- hot (although I'm pretty sure if you look up fit in the dictionary or ask anyone else, it has a different meaning)
3. Sleezy- flirting by means to get into her (or his) pants. (almost slutty)
4. Maccys (Mac-ies)- McDonald's.
-----
From an anonymous source:
American's are abrasive. Speech wise. Apparently, we make quite a number of people cringe, inwardly thinking "please, just shut up".
We are too in your face, too excited to the point of being excessively loud when the person we're speaking to is right in front of you.
Quite interesting food for thought, no?
-----
From Nemani and Kareen I learned:
McDonald's = Happiness. Although they differ on the taste of the food (one says it's delicious and other that it tastes horrible), both agree that 1. it's bad for you and 2. McDonald's makes them happy.
I thought about what they were saying and I realized, there must be a lot of people out there who think the same. McDonald's makes them happy. Can you imagine what kind of effort and how much money it must of cost McDonald's to create this type of image in everyone's head. In Hong Kong, I've seen plastic toy versions of McDonald's food. What kind of parent would buy that for their kids? But apparently they do.
Everyone knows McDonald's is bad for you, especially after Super Size Me came out, but everyone still eats it. Tonight alone, Ali, Haakon, Luong, and Jesal had it for dinner, and I'm pretty sure Nemani had some too. I'm not sure how McDonald's did it, but I'm pretty damn sure I think that companies out there should study the McDonald's history in advertisement and the company's past and present method for creating such a perception.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Something of Interest
Yesterday, I was reading Alan's xanga and he had written something that totally mirrored my thoughts at some time during the past couple months. He wrote,
"I think the more I live my life, the more the concept of a "best friend" become foreign to me. I know people always talk about their "best friends", the people they can't live without, the people who they talk to all the time. The people who they tell everything to, the people they can trust about anything...
When I think of the best friend, or even good friend, they're people that know you, but not only do they know a lot about you, but they want to know more about you. They're people who you can hang out with and feel comfortable around. They're people who when you're gone, they'll miss you. They say actions are more powerful than words and I think that's true. Except in the case of nothing, both are more powerful and more meaningful.
...I'm pretty sure I can count the number of times people have sent me messages or talked to me or anything to that extent on my fingers and toes. Everyone else? Everyone at home that I've talked to since I've been here as been contacted by me. Me. Me. Me. Maybe I'm just over thinking things, but to me that seems like a very one sided relationship."
I wrote back to him,
"People come and go, thats given...but take pleasure in the people who have stayed in contact with you. They are the ones to remember, the relationships to nurture. Relationships of any sort are a two way street. You tried and that's the best you can do. If they decide not to put the effort into building and keeping the relationship, it's their loss. [Alan] You are a great guy, focus on those who keep in contact, even if they annoy you. Let the others come and go and just flow with it. You can always forgive and forgive...or just forgive but don't forget who's who in the scheme of things."
And when I think about it, although what I might have written may not apply to others, it does apply to me. I want to thank Alan for writing a wonderful post, which can be found here at his Xanga.
When I think of the best friend, or even good friend, they're people that know you, but not only do they know a lot about you, but they want to know more about you. They're people who you can hang out with and feel comfortable around. They're people who when you're gone, they'll miss you. They say actions are more powerful than words and I think that's true. Except in the case of nothing, both are more powerful and more meaningful.
...I'm pretty sure I can count the number of times people have sent me messages or talked to me or anything to that extent on my fingers and toes. Everyone else? Everyone at home that I've talked to since I've been here as been contacted by me. Me. Me. Me. Maybe I'm just over thinking things, but to me that seems like a very one sided relationship."
I wrote back to him,
And when I think about it, although what I might have written may not apply to others, it does apply to me. I want to thank Alan for writing a wonderful post, which can be found here at his Xanga.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
The More I'm Here, The Less Likely I Want To Stay
I've been in Hong Kong for approximately six months now. And although Hong Kong is a wonderful city to visit and in general have a good time, the longer I'm here, the less and less desire I have to actually consider making this city a home. Maybe its the atmosphere or just the competitive pressure or whatever, but this would be a great city to visit just not for me to live in.
Being a student here is quite difficult. I'll admit it makes the US schools or at least the schools I've been to look comparatively easier. However, that's also because it's a different system. I admit that I'm not used to memorizing a book, chapter after chapter, and having the test be pretty much everything I've memorized. I'll admit that I prefer the opportunity to express an opinion or conceptualize and be able to be awarded for that, and also that unlike the locals here, I wasn't conditioned to just study, study, and study. Grades don't mean EVERYTHING at home like they do here, a lot of times these days, it's also who you know. It's tough for us non-locals though. In each course only approximately 10-15% of the students in the course are allowed to receive A's. Participation points are awarded only if the Professor likes your answer (you can participate an entire semester and still receive no points), your group grades are docked if you have any type of group problems rather than the individual at fault, and students take full responsibility of everything (i.e.. if the entire class fails, it's because they're stupid rather than the Professor being a bad teacher). HKUST caters to its Professors, not its students. I was once warned to be wary of a certain Professor, known as the "king of complaints," in fear that if he made a complaint against the group I was in, we would likely lose all rights to the facilities we were using and had the possibility of having our group disbanded. Sounds unfair doesn't it.
People here are so competitive. They're trained to present themselves (even if they can't actually speak English outside the presentation), to study, and to do what it takes to get ahead (even if it means working endless hours with no overpay or recognition or anything). At times, I can see how the competitiveness gives them an edge. But I also thing it's sad at times. They are unable to enjoy more of life because lives here are spent moving so fast. There are no cafes where people can enjoy their food and chat, nobody really sits outside or walks outside just to enjoy the weather, and extracurricular activities usually serve to make themselves more accomplished and to look good on their resumés.
The economy is bad, we all understand that. It's been difficult for us to find jobs, yes. But we also find a lot of jobs through others or connections our parents had. Besides, many successful people don't always have top grades. My roommate only networks with Professors...but I think the fellow students she looks down on will be more helpful in the future than any of her Professors may be.
Being a student here is quite difficult. I'll admit it makes the US schools or at least the schools I've been to look comparatively easier. However, that's also because it's a different system. I admit that I'm not used to memorizing a book, chapter after chapter, and having the test be pretty much everything I've memorized. I'll admit that I prefer the opportunity to express an opinion or conceptualize and be able to be awarded for that, and also that unlike the locals here, I wasn't conditioned to just study, study, and study. Grades don't mean EVERYTHING at home like they do here, a lot of times these days, it's also who you know. It's tough for us non-locals though. In each course only approximately 10-15% of the students in the course are allowed to receive A's. Participation points are awarded only if the Professor likes your answer (you can participate an entire semester and still receive no points), your group grades are docked if you have any type of group problems rather than the individual at fault, and students take full responsibility of everything (i.e.. if the entire class fails, it's because they're stupid rather than the Professor being a bad teacher). HKUST caters to its Professors, not its students. I was once warned to be wary of a certain Professor, known as the "king of complaints," in fear that if he made a complaint against the group I was in, we would likely lose all rights to the facilities we were using and had the possibility of having our group disbanded. Sounds unfair doesn't it.
People here are so competitive. They're trained to present themselves (even if they can't actually speak English outside the presentation), to study, and to do what it takes to get ahead (even if it means working endless hours with no overpay or recognition or anything). At times, I can see how the competitiveness gives them an edge. But I also thing it's sad at times. They are unable to enjoy more of life because lives here are spent moving so fast. There are no cafes where people can enjoy their food and chat, nobody really sits outside or walks outside just to enjoy the weather, and extracurricular activities usually serve to make themselves more accomplished and to look good on their resumés.
The economy is bad, we all understand that. It's been difficult for us to find jobs, yes. But we also find a lot of jobs through others or connections our parents had. Besides, many successful people don't always have top grades. My roommate only networks with Professors...but I think the fellow students she looks down on will be more helpful in the future than any of her Professors may be.
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